Or Austin or Idaho or Utah or ______

4:30am, Nashville TN —
In a sparsely decorated upstairs flat a man tosses uneasily, the only spectator a peace lily, purchased one week before and possibly needing water.

Internal dialogue:
“I don’t know sometimes. . .”

Shoot. Not quite it.

“I just don’t know, Sandra. . .”

Hmm.

“Sherry, I just don’t know about _______ sometimes.”

It’s a different name darn it, it’s not Sandra, not Sherry, it’s. . .

Gahhh. . !

When I have a movie line stuck in my head and before I figure where it’s from I’m no…

So yeah despite the previous instances you may have read about, this is officially the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Number one with a bullet.

The crazy part?

I actually thought about it first.

And I still did it.

At 3am and on a hostess donette breakfast, some pretty dumba** ideas can come flowing out.

“We’ve got a gusher!”

One of the biggest bummers about having a paper route as an adult is that it almost ruined the experience I had of having a paper route as a kid.

Like Ali standing over Sonny Liston.

In other words it didn’t…

I didn’t think we were going hiking.

I didn’t read the sign because I was already off the trail.

And yeah not sure if I would have obeyed anyway because following rules is sort of not my deal. Especially when it comes to signs.

And I knew it was going to happen

*this story is offered in a stream of consciousness style — i’m testing it out so feedback is welcome :)

This is a story about the same car as story one and story two but not story three and definitely not story four and will be shorter so you’ll like that although I probably said that last time so you know about the brake drums the ones with the grooves in them yes in the same 1965 Chrysler that is 18' long if you remember well that’s what I’m talking about so…

My final companion

Tom petty was well into his amazing 40+ year career when he hit his first big identity crisis. As Warren Zanes documents in his book Petty: The Biography, though the first two albums had solidified Tom and Co.’s byrds + brit + southern sound as solid radio staple, and the singles and touring had brought a modicum of success to both Petty and the heartbreakers, Petty was faced with one of the harsher realities of success.

He had become a brand.

Hey I was going through an honesty phase ok

* * *

It started simply enough. A nice day, a blanket on the grass in a park in Beverly Hills. A journal, a notepad, a couple beverages. A beautiful blond girl and an insecure blonde guy.

To be clear I’m not normally thought of as insecure but I’m getting better at telling the truth. In fact to others I project the opposite: A confident, risk-seeking, nomadic traveler in search of the next story, film, or place to lay my head.

And most of the time they’re right.

But not this…

So what I bet you have too

Ok probably not at like 27 years old but whatever. Also probably not on the way to do yard work for an older lady from church that gave kids yard work sometimes over the summer and sure I was too old for yard work but I was in between jobs so whatever I said yes.

That was the setup for the day I crapped my pants.

* * *

I don’t know what I’d eaten the night before because without giving tmi

I actually have a pretty regular situation in that area.

I…

My only regret is I didn’t film the reactions

If you read my first story involving my old Chrysler you’ll see how now I call it ‘my’ car. I’m growing wiser by the day. This one wasn’t all my fault though and is shorter so you’ll like that and involves Swingers instead of a concert.

See we were going to see Swingers (1996) on a dark and stormy night in late October in Northern California. Ok it wasn’t stormy but it was wet and boy was it dark. We were leaving from my friends’ house yes in the same car…